What is Carcynic?
Carcynic is my attempt to write automotive articles. (And hopefully get
someone to read them.)
Who are you and why do you think you can write a car blog?
I am an engineer by trade, and a shade tree mechanic and rare car
enthusiast by hobby. I'm Olde Skool and New School too. I can rebuild a
Quadrajunk blind folded, but I'm just as comfortable with a OBD II
Tool. I have written for other websites, and some have said I am at
least marginally good, so I thought I'd have a go at writing about one
of my other passions -- cars.
So you're a wannabe Jeremy Clarkson huh?
I have no problem admitting that. I do differ from the TG guys in
several ways: I'm better looking than Clarkson, better at buying shirts
than James May, and I'm taller than Richard Hammond. I also happen to
like Mexican food.
Carcynic sounds like Arsenic or Carcinogen -- is it bad for me?
Yes. Symptoms may include despising your current car, Compulsive
haggling with car dealers, Total neglect of Facebook friends while
driving (I hope), and heightened sense of what all those funny pipes
and wires under the hood are for.
Does Carcynic have a staff or contributors?
We hope to soon. Details are still be worked out, and I cannot reveal
any names at this time.
Update: Paul will be our resident Supercar Expert.
Are these real people, or just you saying you're different people?
If it says someone else wrote/contributed something, then someone else
really wrote/contributed it.
Can I contribute?
Sure, just post comments, but make sure you fact check yourself. I and
the other readers will if you don't, and you may not come out smelling
so pretty. If we get a real website I may accept articles from
When will there be a Carcynic TV show?
It is my hope that I can do some YouTube reviews or presentations in
the near future. Of course if you happen to be a Mega Media Mogul in
search of talent, I think I might be able to spare you just a bit of my
I read your posts, and I really like them, so I want to send you a
free Bugatti. How can I contact you?
The best way
to contact Carcynic is through Google+.
I'm a Supercar manufacturer. Can I send you a priceless prototype
Supercar so you can drive it like an idiot on your test track --
destroying 3 sets of tires and the environment at the same time?
No, but we are working to correct this deficiency.
My car won't start, makes funny noises, handles like a sack of
pureed frogs, etc... Will you tell me how to fix it?
Well, I can provide a sarcastic, belittling, and possibly marginally
useful response. Send questions as a Google+ message specifically to
+Carcynic, or as a comment to a relevant posting. Responses, including
your original question, post or comment may be made public unless you
specifically ask for it not to be (in which case it will almost
assuredly be ignored.) Obviously, not all questions can be answered.
Hey! Something you wrote really #@&! me off. Should I make
myself look like an idiot by publicly flaming you?
Well...... No. Remember first, this is all for fun. If you
disagree with me, keep in mind there are likely others who just as
strongly agree. They will be reading your comments too, and forming
their own opinions of you. As the name implies, Carcynic is humorous,
cynical, and sarcastic. Recognize humor for humor. Keep your emotional
outbursts on your side of your router.
Actually, I think you're not cynical enough. Why don't you just let
it all out?
Remember, I do not have the entire legal team of the world's largest
broadcaster behind me.
What's with all the Euro car talk? Especially the notable CitroŽn
bias. Are you French? A Francophile?
One cannot be against the automotive establishment, and not appreciate
Citroen. We'll see in future posts the influence Citroen has had on the
automotive industry. There are plenty of good American cars too, as we
will also see. Did I mention Japanese and Korean cars? -- Oh, that's
right, I didn't.
As far as my writing style, I have been influenced by British comedy
for many years, so that may show on occasion. I promise not to put
"Y's" in my tires (it makes them roll funny), and the aluminum used in
cars should never contain extra syllables. Speaking of fuel, In the international world of
the Internet, "petrol" seems to be used more than "gas", so you may see
that here too. It seems a little funny to me to call a liquid – "gas".